Another Night of Pointless Madness
by Red Witch
Summary: The Brotherhood go out on the town again in a wild night filled with brawls, stolen food, miniture golf, pointless musings and some Jean bashing!


**I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters! Got it? Well this story takes place between 'Shadowdance' and 'The Hex Factor'. I wanted to have a little more Brotherhood bonding and madness. Just some things that were rambling around in my brain. Plus I really wanted to give Jean a wake up call! I felt like being nasty to her, and the truth is really nasty! I can't wait to see the third season and see what happens to her. Oh it's gonna be good! Ha Ha! **

Okay now that I've got that out of my system, here we go! Let the insanity begin! 

**Another Night of Pointless Madness**

"All right!" Todd shouted as the Brotherhood drove through the night. "Time to Par-tayyyy!" 

"Nothing like a Saturday night for some fun eh guys?" Lance laughed as he drove. "So what kind of damage should we do first?"

"Let's get some grub!" Fred called out.

"Well that's a surprise," Pietro snickered. "Hey there's the Gut Bomb. Let's pull in there before Freddy starts hallucinating again from hunger!"

"One time I did that!" Fred snapped. "One time! And it was an extreme case!"

"Yeah you didn't eat for what? Seven minutes?" Lance snickered as they pulled in. 

"It was seven hours," Fred snapped. "And you know it!"

"That's about the same amount of time you sleep every night," Todd cackled as he hopped out of the car. "What you saying that you have delusions every morning?"

"That explains a lot," Lance grinned. 

Todd laughed and started to walk inside. He didn't see where he was going and he bumped into Duncan and several of his jock buddies. "Well if it isn't Toady Tolensky," Duncan grabbed him by the shirt. 

"Put him down Duncan!" Lance snapped charging up. 

"Fine," Duncan sneered throwing Todd to the ground. "Why don't we have a conversation? My fists will have a talk with your face!"

"I have a better idea. How about my fists and your face?" Fred smiled as he warmed up his hands. "I'll meet you guys later inside. I just need to work up an appetite."

"Sure Freddy," Lance smirked as he and the others left Fred and went into the building. "Have fun!" 

"Okay losers," Fred grinned at the jocks. "Let's rumble!" 

Inside the Brotherhood grabbed a table. "I hope Freddy doesn't take too long," Todd said. "Hey look, there's the Queen of the X-Geeks!" He pointed at another table. Jean was waiting not so patiently. "Maybe we should tell her to reserve a hospital room for her boyfriend?" 

"I can't believe Duncan would interrupt his date with a hot babe to go gab with his buddies," Pietro sniffed. "Okay it's Jean we're talking about but still…" 

"Face it," Lance waved. "Duncan isn't exactly dream date material. And Red isn't a very good judge of character." 

"Heads up," Todd pointed. "She saw us. Probably gonna give us a piece of her mind."

"What there is of it," Lance snickered under his breath. 

"What did you do to Duncan?" Jean stormed up.

"He's with Freddy," Pietro snickered. "I believe they are having a philosophical debate!" 

At that moment a jock flew by the window screaming. "He's brawling again," Jean groaned. 

"If you want to go save your boyfriend I suggest you better hurry," Pietro cackled. "He's almost out of friends covering his butt." Another jock flew by and hit the window in the face. He fell to the ground. 

"Oops. All gone!" Pietro laughed.

"Go on Red," Lance snickered. "Better hurry before Romeo gets covered in garbage again!" 

"For the life of me I have no idea what Kitty sees in you!" Jean said to Lance. 

"Yeah well at least she's smart enough to stick to her own kind!" Pietro snapped. "Unlike some people."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jean bristled.

"You know for a telepath you are really clueless," Lance told her. "You and Summers should hook up. You're both frozen from the neck down and have no sense of fun from the neck up!"

"Yeah he's a better match for you than Duncan the Dimwit any day," Todd said.

"A dead monkey is a better match for her than Duncan," Pietro laughed. "And a lot smarter."

"Oh real mature," Jean frowned. She didn't notice Fred swinging Duncan by his feet outside the window. 

"Face it Red, you're wasting your time with that human," Pietro sneered. "They're nothing but trouble. Trust me on this. Stick to your own kind. You'll be better off. They'll never understand you." 

"That's not true!" Jean said. "One day humans will learn to understand us!" 

"Wise up Jean," Lance snapped. "Duncan doesn't even treat you like a person now! If he ever found out you were a mutant how do you think he'd react? I thought you'd learned your lesson at the Sadie Hawkins Dance! You remember, the one where Duncan ditched you all night to go brag to his buddies? And after the interdimensional dinosaurs with an overbite showed up how he took off to get drunk, leaving you alone?" 

Lance leered at her, getting into her face. "Face it Red, you're nothing but a trophy to him. I've seen it before too many times to count. As soon as he's done with you he'll move on. He's only interested in two things. One, to boost his image and two…" He pointed at her breasts. "Well technically he's interested in three things." 

"You are disgusting!" Jean snapped.

"He's also right," Pietro quipped. "Come on, don't tell me that you never scanned his mind, even by accident? Even you can pick up the kind of thoughts he has."

"I'm not a telepath and even I can pick up what kinda thoughts he has," Todd snickered. 

"Think about it Red," Lance told her. "How long do you think your 'relationship' would last if and when he finds out what you are? Let's see…I'd give it a week or so before he gives you the boot. If he doesn't dump you the second he finds out."

"Nah," Todd sneered. "He'd want to get her in the sack first. Then he'd kick her out so he can brag to his buddies how he scored with a freak." 

"That is a very ugly hurtful thing you just said," Jean started to get red.

"The truth usually is ugly," Pietro looked at her. "And hurtful. Deal with it." 

Jean clenched her fists. "Go on Jean," Lance taunted, recognizing the look in her eye. "Use those powers of yours to wipe the walls with me! What's stopping you? Show the whole world what you are!"

Jean looked around. Although there were people around no one was looking at them. Not yet. "Forget it," She said. "You're not worth it." 

"Oh yes god forbid you stoop to our level," Pietro sneered. "Or at least appear to do so in public." 

"No," Jean said. "I know how to control myself and my actions as well as when it's appropriate to use my powers," Jean said. "That's the difference between us." 

"The only difference between us Red is that you hide behind your little lie of normalcy so that you can pretend to be anything else than what you are," Pietro said coldly. "At least we're honest with ourselves and have no delusions of what we are."

"Come on guys," Lance said. "Let's blow. This is getting boring."

"Yeah," Todd hopped away as they turned to leave. "Suddenly I need some fresh air."

"Mark my words X-Geek," Pietro looked at her coldly. "The day is going to come when you won't be able to hide what you are. And your little Miss Perfect Image is not going to cut it anymore. You wanna find out where you belong the hard way? Be my guest. Just don't say nobody warned you." 

They went outside and found jocks sprawled all over the place. "Hey yo where's Duncan?" Todd asked.

"In the trash where he belongs," Fred smiled as he dusted off his hands. "Hey I thought you were gonna save me a seat in there?" 

"Come on Freddy let's go," Lance told him. "We'd better get out of here before the cops come. Or more importantly, before Jean has a hissy fit."

"**She's** in there?" Fred grimaced. "Suddenly I've lost my appetite."

"That's a first," Pietro snickered.

"Who are you to talk Speedy?" Todd said. "You eat almost as much as Freddy does."

"Yes but I have a hyper accelerated metabolism," Pietro reminded his as they went into the jeep and left the burger joint. "Plus I like to think I have more self control."

"Only when it comes to food," Fred snickered. 

"Hey I got an idea," Lance grinned. "How about we get dinner in a more, shall we say cultured environment?" 

"Let me guess," Pietro grinned. "You're talking Brotherhood take out right?"

"You got it," Lance said. "So where shall we go tonight gentlemen? French? Italian?" 

"Oh I know!" Fred said. "How about that new ultra ritzy place? The one that opened last week. You know, it's where you have to shell out a 150 bucks for a lobster." 

"Allez Cuisine?" Pietro named the restaurant.

"That's it!" Fred nodded. 

"Sounds good to me," Pietro smiled. 

"I always wondered what a 150 dollar lobster tastes like," Todd said.

"Allez Cuisine it is!" Lance snickered as they drove. They soon found the place. "Man look at this place!"

"Sure ain't a McDonalds that's for sure," Fred said.

"Pull into that alley there," Pietro pointed. 

"Good," Lance did so. "Okay you all know the drill. After I shake things up, Pietro you dash in and grab everything that's cooked and ready to go. Bag it up and bring it out here. You two put it in the jeep when he comes out and don't eat anything! Got it?" 

"Ready to roll," Pietro nodded as he got out of the car. "Do it Avalanche!"

"Let's rock!" Lance nearly shouted his trademark catchphrase as he put his hands on the side of the building and let of a tremor. After a few shakes Pietro ran in. A few seconds later, Pietro ran out with some bags. Todd and Fred put them in the jeep as Pietro ran in again. Lance stopped the shaking for a second so that the building wouldn't collapse. Then Pietro ran out with more bags. 

"Okay that's all of it!" Pietro shouted getting in the jeep. "GO! GO! GO!"

Lance got in and drove off rapidly. They shouted with glee as they made their escape. Soon they were at the outskirts of the park, chomping down their loot.

"Remind me to send a note to the chefs sometime," Lance ate his fillet mingion between two slices of foccacia bread. "They really know how to cook a steak!" 

"Try the roast leg of lamb," Pietro said as he neatly ate his meal. "It's to die for! I also swiped some silverware if anybody needs it!"

"Who needs it yo?" Todd used his tongue to grab his food. "So that's what a 150 dollar lobster tastes like! Who knew?" He cracked open the shell and claws with his hands and tongue and sucked all the meat out. "Nice and Juicy! Like eating a very meaty cockroach!"

"Thanks a lot for the image Toad. Hey don't get butter all over my jeep!" Lance snapped. "Freddy! Watch it with the sauce huh?"

"Oh come on Lance," Fred was gulping down two different pasta dishes at the same time. "Live a little."

As fate would have it, Evan and Kurt were skating by on their boards. "What are you losers doing here?" Evan snapped.

Pietro raised an eyebrow. "We are currently directing the London Symphony Orchestra. Lance is the percussion section, Toad is the base…"

"Yeah and I'm the wind section," Fred laughed as he passed gas loudly. "Get it?"

"Oh man Freddy warn us before you do that yo!" Todd held his nose. "You stink!"

"Said the pot to the kettle," Lance quipped. "Hey Pietro hand me one of those lobsters will ya?" 

"Here ya go," Pietro shelled it rapidly. "Lazy Lobster for Avalanche!" 

"Thanks pal," Lance munched it down. "I always have trouble with the shell for some reason." 

"You stole that food from a restaurant?" Kurt gasped.

"Well we couldn't pay for the food at those prices," Todd gulped down a mouthful.

"Have you seen what they charge for the appetizers alone?" Pietro tossed him a menu. "Now if those prices aren't robbery, I don't know what is!" 

"You can't just steal food!" Kurt shouted.

"Hello we just did!" Fred waved a full bag. "Hey!" Kurt ported over and grabbed the bag. He ported back and handed the bag to Evan. "Give that back!" 

"No way!" Kurt said. "That food belongs to its rightful owner!" 

"What are you gonna do moron?" Lance snapped. "Turn it into the food police?" 

"Hey I stole that lobster fair and square!" Pietro snapped. "Steal your own food!" 

"No…YEEEEOW!" Evan yelped as he lifted his finger. The lobster was clinging to it.

"Oh what do you know?" Pietro smirked. "That one's still alive. Oh well, must have picked one up from the tank by mistake. Toodles!" 

The Brotherhood drove off laughing. "You didn't really make a mistake did you?" Todd asked. "You got that live lobster on purpose yo!"

"Maybe," Pietro grinned. "I was gonna stick it in Kelly's desk but this worked out much better." 

"Good thing we ate most of the food anyway," Fred polished off his meal and licked his fingers. "Still hungry though."

"Yeah it's just like those geeks to interrupt our nice pleasant dinner," Todd grumbled. 

"Ah forget those losers guys," Lance told them. "The night is still young and so are we! Whoo hoooo!" They drove down the highway. "Now where do we wanna go?" 

"Ooh! I know! I know!" Todd waved his hand. "Mini Golf!"

"YES!" Pietro and Fred said aloud.

"NO!" Lance groaned at the same time.

"Its three to one Lance," Pietro told him. "Majority rules!" 

"I hate miniature golf!" Lance groaned. "And how are we supposed to pay for it?"

"We sneak in duh," Pietro told him. "You worry too much!" 

"Hey I gotta get some gas first," Lance sighed. "Fortunately I got some cash for it."

"Yeah and we can get some more food yo!" Todd told him.

"Isn't that Fred's line?" Pietro snickered as they pulled in. The other members of the Brotherhood went into the store to get some treats while Lance got some gas. He went in to pay when he saw the odd sight of Todd and the clerk singing together.

"_I'm just a poor boy! Nobody loves me! He's just a poor boy from a poor family…" _They were singing the Bohemian Rhapsody song and dancing in front of the security camera.

"Oh goody," Lance rolled his eyes. "I get to see a rerun of 'Wanye's World'." 

"Watch this," Pietro snickered. "Hey Booker! Great singing man! Hey can we get some munchies for free?"

"Yeah man it's cool," Booker laughed.

"Hey Booker can we have some gas for free?" Pietro asked.

"Yeah man it's cool," Booker laughed.

"Hey Booker," Lance decided to give it a try. "We are mutants from the planet Koozbane. We're here to party and enslave the planet."

"Yeah man it's cool," Booker laughed so hard he started to cough. 

"He is so wasted," Pietro whispered to Lance, trying not to laugh. 

"He gets drunk every night," Lance grumbled. "You'd think with all these security cameras around they'd catch on and fire him or something."

"Are you kidding?" Pietro looked at him. "They don't care anymore. Don't you read? The whole chain is going out of business."

"I wonder why?" Lance asked sarcastically as he watched Booker fall down flat on his face. "I'll go move the jeep. You guys get the stuff okay?" 

"Hey man I'm on the floor!" Booker giggled as Lance went outside. 

"You meet the weirdest people at gas station convenience stores," Lance grumbled. He pulled his jeep into the parking lot. The other members of the Brotherhood joined him.

"Deserts! Gotta love 'em!" Fred crowed. "Ooh! Twinkies!" 

"I dunno man," Todd said. "Is it me or do Twinkies not taste like they used to? I mean they used to be all soft and spongy but now they taste more like plastic! Does anybody else notice that or is it just me?" 

"I never noticed that," Fred shrugged as he gulped one down.

"You eat so fast your taste buds never notice the difference," Pietro snickered. "You don't even chew. You just gulp your food down."

"Man sometimes it sucks being a mutant," Lance grumbled as he drank his soda. "Can't even get a decent beer buzz like everyone else."

"Why not?" Fred asked.

"Don't you know anything?" Pietro groaned. "Thanks to our DNA, anything more than a small amount of booze can really hurt a mutant. We can even die from alcohol poisoning. Our systems just can't take it. Well most of us can't."

"Oh," Fred scratched. "Well I never drank much before. To be honest, I never really liked the taste of it."

"Just giving you a friendly warning bud," Pietro said. "Looking out for you." 

"You weren't looking out for me when you got me drunk last New Year's!" Lance snapped. 

"Please," Pietro waved. "It was watered down."

"I still ended up sick as a dog for two days in a row!" Lance snapped.

"Not to mention doing a striptease on the X-Geeks' front lawn," Todd laughed. 

"Don't remind me," Lance groaned.

"Yeah well I got sick too and if being stuck in the same room with you wasn't punishment enough I don't know what is!" Pietro told him. 

"I don't know why I never liked the taste of alcohol," Fred mused. "I usually like all kinds of tastes. I like lettuce and broccoli. I like all vegetables. I wonder why I don't like beer?" 

"Oh god," Lance rolled his eyes. "Off in his own little world again I see." 

"Maybe it stems from my childhood," Fred continued. "I remember when I was a little kid and there was this farmhand. Boris I remember his name was. Well he was always smelling of beer and one night I…"

"Oh god Freddy please not another Farm story," Pietro groaned. "They always involve something weird and some animal getting decapitated or maimed or eaten or something. Not to mention unusual uses for farm equipment I never even wanted to consider!" 

"I find them entertaining," Todd said.

"You would," Pietro said. 

"Cool it guys," Lance groaned. "Oh great. Look who's here!" They saw Scott pull up in his car. "Great. Just the jerk I wanted to see. I got an idea. Wait until he goes inside…" 

When Scott went in to pay, Pietro ran by and stole his hubcaps while Todd slimed the inside of the car. They ran back in the jeep when he came out. As soon as Scott sat down he realized something was wrong. 

"Yuck!" Scott shouted as well as a few other words. Then he saw the Brotherhood pull away laughing. "ALVERS!" 

"That was priceless yo!" Todd laughed.

"I never get tired of seeing that look on Summers' face!" Lance laughed. 

Soon they drove up to the miniature golf park. "Ah the wonderful world of Miniature Golf!" Pietro called out. 

"How do we sneak in?" Todd asked.

"Leave that to me," Pietro sped off. A few minutes later he came back. "Okay let's go," Pietro smiled. There were traces of lipstick on his face. 

"How…?" Todd stared at him.

"A true master never gives away his secrets!" Pietro laughed. "Let's just say that we can just walk right in." 

And they did, right past a blonde girl with stars in her eyes. Looking very happy and dazed. "I don't know what you did Pal, but you gotta teach me some of that," Todd remarked. 

The course wasn't busy and soon they were on the eighth hole. "Let's check our score shall we?" Fred looked over the scorecard. "Toad and I have a total of 21 while Pietro and Lance has a combined score of…362?"

"That can't be right!" Pietro fumed as he took the scorecard. "Why did we give the scorecard to the guy who's flunking Algebra? Let me look at this!" 

Todd hopped up and down so he could see over Pietro's shoulder. "You're right. Freddy forgot a few numbers. It's really 365!" 

"Well I let a few things slide so…" Fred told him.

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Pietro shouted. "How could we get a score this bad on only the eighth hole?"

"WILL YOU JUST GET IN THE STUPID HOLE YOU LITTLE…" Lance screamed. "AAGGGH! NO! NOT BEHIND THE ROCK AGAIN! THAT'S WHERE YOU WENT THE LAST TIME!"

"Oh yeah," Pietro sighed. "I forgot what a lousy player Lance is." 

"It is not my fault!" Lance shouted. "This course is uneven! And these balls are obviously rigged somehow! AAGGGH! NO DON'T GO BACKWARDS!" 

"How come I got stuck with Lance?" Pietro snapped. 

"Well you said you were so perfect at this game it didn't matter who you were paired with," Fred snickered. "My turn!" He did a little wiggle and then made a putt. "FORE!" It was a hole in one.

"All right!" Todd laughed. "Great score! My turn!" He did a little wiggle. "FIVE!" He hit the ball a little too hard. It hit the head of one of the players in front of him on the next hole. "Oops."

"Hey!" Bobby rubbed his head. "Watch it!" He glared at them along with Jubilee, Ray, Amara, and Sam. 

"Why don't you losers watch where you're playing?" Jubilee snapped. 

"Sor-ry!" Todd snapped. "Hey can we have our ball back?"

"Sure," Bobby froze it into a snowball. "Catch!" He threw it at them. 

"Har har," Todd snapped. "Catch this!" He spat slime at them. 

It got all over Ray and Jubilee. Both of them started to power up. "You guys!" Amara said. "I don't think we're supposed to use our powers out in the open like this!" She looked around.

"Aw there's nobody around," Ray snapped, electricity cracking from his fingers. "I'm gonna fry that toad!" 

"Something tells me its time to hit the road again," Todd gulped. 

"But first," Lance grinned. "Why don't we improve the golf course a little? Like say making the holes bigger?" He used his powers to create a huge crack in the earth and shot it out towards them. Amara barely ducked out of the way. Jubilee fell in, but Bobby used his powers to rescue her. 

"Get them!" Bobby shouted. 

Quickly Pietro used his super speed to make a tornado. He grabbed some props nearby and managed to tie Ray up with some of them. Sam used his powers to shoot at Fred, but when he impacted on Fred's stomach he knocked himself out.

"Ow!" Fred snarled. "That hurts!" 

Amara and Jubilee started throwing their powers at them. The Brotherhood barely had time to dodge and duck. However they did manage to set fire to some of the trees and shrubs. "Now it's time to go," Lance gulped. "Things are starting to get hot around here!"

They ran off. To their surprise Pietro had run ahead and informed the manager that some kids had set fire to the course. "ARSON! ARSON!" Pietro pointed to the New Mutants. "They did it!" 

While the manager was crying and screaming bloody murder at the New Mutants the Brotherhood beat a hasty retreat. As they drove away Lance asked. "Uh…you think you should have done that Pietro? Getting them in trouble like that?" 

"Hey they didn't care if they got you in trouble when you lived with them!" Todd pointed out.

"You have a point," Lance sighed. 

"Well that was fun," Fred grumbled.

"Well it was," Todd said. "Up until the X-Geek Junior Squad showed up! Man they are all over the place tonight! Like roaches!"

"Well I know one place where no X-Geek will be," Lance grinned. "Time to make a little pit stop." He turned off the road.

"Hey Lance," Fred remarked. "Isn't this the way we go to school?"

"Oh yeah," Lance smiled. "I think it's time our school got some new colors wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah I get it!" Todd grinned. "A little paint job Brotherhood Style."

Soon they managed to break into the school. "Everybody got their spraycans ready?" Lance called out.

"All set," Fred shook his. "Hey where's Toad and Quicksilver?"

"Here we are," They came up. "Ready for action!" 

"Nothing like a little night time spray painting to round up a perfect evening," Lance snickered.

"How about not?" Scott showed up with Kurt, Evan, Jean, Jubilee, Sam, Amara, Ray and Bobby. 

"What is this?" Lance snapped. "Do you X-Geeks have to follow us around everywhere we go?"

"Funny I was about to say the same for you!" Scott snapped. "Haven't you idiots done enough damage tonight?" 

"Not really no," Pietro quipped. He ran towards them and spayed them with spray paint. "Love the new look!" He laughed. "HEY!" Jean used her powers to lift him off the ground. "NO FAIR!" 

The Brotherhood tried to fight them off, but there were too many of them. "Let's get outta here!" Fred shouted as they ran. They barely managed to escape and make their way home. 

"Just once," Fred grumbled as they staggered in the door. "Just once I'd like to beat those guys!"

"We really gotta get some new people yo!" Todd snapped. "They outnumber us two to one! Somebody gotta teach those jerks to play fair." 

"Ah forget it guys," Lance sighed. "Well at the very least we ruined their evening as well."

"And Monday morning yo!" Todd grinned.

"What?" Lance looked at Todd and Pietro. "What did you two do?"

"Oh I just left a little surprise in their lockers," Todd snickered.

"Not to mention I did a little redecorating in the boy's bathroom and locker," Pietro smiled. "Let's just say Jean is going to be having some interesting phone calls this week." 


End file.
